Our Approach to Potty Learning
Well friend, it’s happening. We’ve embarked on yet another uncharted parenting adventure AKA beginning the process of potty learning with Izzy.
To be honest, I’ve avoided topics like this in the past because they’re such personal parenting choices. Every child is different, each of our household needs are different, and parenting styles are so different too! But I’m actually really excited about this and I wanted to share.
See, I realized the other day that my kiddo is almost THREE. The years go by quickly in normal life, but living in lockdown limbo for the entirety of last year made it all zoom by even more (no pun intended).
I feel like we were just canceling our plans for a big second birthday party and now here we are on the cusp of having a three year old. When he turned two, I said, we’ll potty learn in a few months. And then we just…didn’t. 😅
Listening to some Montessori podcasts on toilet learning had me feeling some major mom guilt for waiting this long. Looking back, I definitely remember Izzy being very interested in the toilet and bathroom at around 18 months. At the time, diaper changes weren’t a huge headache for us and I wasn’t in any rush to transition to the toilet. Still, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel like I dropped the ball when I heard that we were starting this process a year and a half “late.”
BUT! I’m extending grace to myself and my husband and recognizing that last year was about surviving and we did the best we could. We were navigating the pandemic, my pregnancy, a move, and the birth of our second child just to name a few things. It was a lot!
We’re blending a couple of approaches to toilet learning. I really appreciate child-led approaches to learning, so we’re taking inspiration from Montessori.
The foundation to a child using the toilet/potty is being able to undress, so we’ve been working on that skill a whole lot, since Izzy had never really shown interest in it before. Side note: ever since he learned how to undress he 1) does it alllll the time and 2) has become fiercely independent in other things, like climbing into the car on his own.
When we started this process, we didn’t really have a set time by when we wanted him to be “potty trained.” We had a good couple of days and then we all caught a cold, which took us back to square one, so we’ve pulled back on our expectations on when we’ll be done with potty learning and have taken a slow and steady approach. We will be dedicating three full days to intensive potty practice in the coming weeks though! We’re talking no errands, no leaving home, just focusing on creating space for Izzy to really learn his body’s cues.
If you’re interested in a potty learning approach, I recommend this article, this YouTube video and this podcast episode. There’s quite a bit of chit chat in the beginning of the podcast, but there are some helpful nuggets of information and the Potty Learning Routine freebie made by one of the hosts is a nice overview of how to implement potty learning if you’re also teaching a child how to use the toilet for the first time.
our potty learning set up
Baby Bjorn Smart Potty — Did I search for an aesthetically pleasing child sized toilet for my home? Yes, I unashamedly did. Really, I think this potty found me (I’m sure thanks to the internet cookies tracking what kind of products I gravitate towards). I picked the compact version of this potty because the plan is to bring it along with us if/when we leave the house over the next few weeks. I also chose to buy a small potty after unsuccessfully attempting to set up our bathroom toilet with a toddler seat. Turns out our toilet is weirdly tall and oddly shaped, so our best option was to get a toddler-friendly floor potty. We have it sitting on one of our gathre changing mats to help keep the floor clean as Izzy also learns how to aim.
Cotton Underwear — Izzy got some Toy Story themed undies for Christmas and I ordered some Mickey Mouse and Daniel Tiger ones too. So far he’s been really excited about it!
Step Stool — We’ve had a step stool set up in front of the sink for months now. The double step makes everything extra easy for Izzy.
Potty Books — We’ll be watching the Daniel Tiger potty episodes on repeat over the next few weeks, so I ordered a Daniel Tiger book to really reinforce the topic. I also picked up Let’s Go to the Potty and Everybody Potties to give us multiple chances to talk about how going to the bathroom is a completely normal thing.
Neutral Language and A Lighthearted Attitude — Although we’re not really a Montessori household, I really value the language that the Montessori approach uses when it comes to toilet learning. It’s important to us that we have a fairly neutral reaction whether or not Izzy makes it to the potty. Of course we’ll tell him we’re proud of him, but in our home, we do our best to praise the effort, not the outcome.Going into it expecting that there will be pee and/or poop on the floor at some point will hopefully curb my reaction if when it happens. I’m positive I won’t be perfect at it, but it’s my intention to give him a safe space to learn his body’s cues without having to worry about what my or Brandon’s reaction will be.
UPDATE — I’m happy to report that 7 months later, Isaac is successfully using the big toilet. We focused on daytime toilet use and put zero pressure on him to stay dry at night. We’re still working through our stash of PullUps but he consistently wakes up dry or wakes in the middle of the night to use the toilet. I saw a huge leap in his ability to use the bathroom independently once he started preschool. We continue to practice self-dressing and that has played a major role in helping him feel confident in using the toilet by himself.
